Very Bad People
by Faryn Queens
Summary: She marries Chuck in the park while Dan watches from the sidelines. He marries Serena in Blair's penthouse while she gazes out the window. They are very bad people.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I said I never wanted to do this but I was very inspired by all the talented writers on here and I couldn't help myself! It'll probably be a two shot. Thanks for inspiring me and thanks for reading! xo

**VERY BAD PEOPLE**

She's married before she graduates University. Young, naive, and under a false assumption that marriage will mature her and give her the security she needs. She's superstitious so she borrows her mom's old, hair pin and buys a brand new, blue dress. She marries Chuck in the park while Dan watches from the sidelines.

He's a husband before he sells his first decent book. He's a father before he wants to be. He feels ambushed and stuck. The life he had laid out for himself disappears into something different all together. Out of obligation and no other option on the horizon he marries Serena in Blair's penthouse while she gazes out the window.

...

They arrive at six o'clock just as Blair had specified in her gold, embossed invitations and several times over the phone. The Bass penthouse is permeated with the smell of their lush spread of Thanksgiving dinner, pumpkin spice and warm vanilla candles. Everyone rushes together and greets with big hugs and double air kisses. Blair beams from the top of the spiral staircase. She's wearing a frilly apron but it doesn't fool anyone, she's dressed to the nines underneath and her hair is curled into perfect, long and shiny tresses. Chuck, dressed in a flamboyant, kelly green blazer steps out from the hallway and starts air kissing Lily. Blair rushes down to Serena. She holds her hands out before Serena has a chance remove her oversized scarf and peacoat.

"OH, S!" she digs her finger tips into Serena's shoulder blades. "B!" Serena smiles back then lets out a soft laugh at Blair's overly warm welcome. Blair runs her fingers through Serena's hair as they pull from their hug. "I've said it before and i'll say it again. I love it," Serena's hair is quite a bit shorter now, a shoulder length bob. Blair convinced her that carefree beach waves were unsuitable for a busy mother.

"Hi guys!," Blair bends down and greets Dan and Serena's daughters. "Henry is in the living-room," she lets them know.

"Lily," Blair steps aside to greet Serena's mother.

"Don't tell me you were cooking, Waldorf," Dan sneers while he unbuttons his coat and places it in Dorota's eager hands.

"I'm a wonderful sous chef, Humphrey," she reaches around and pulls at the string of her apron, then pulls the material away from her body, showing everyone her entirely black ensemble, complete with patterned tights and plunging V-neck. She gives the apron to Dorota without a single word exchanged.

"I need to see it to believe it," Nate jokes with Dan.

"Oh B! this is so cute!" Serena comments as she touches her waist.

"This?" Blair shrugs modestly. "Come on through. I hope everyone is hungry," she gestures for everyone to follow her into the dining-room where Roman is lighting candles at the table. Eleanor walks over to hug Lily while Dan and Harold engage in a friendly hand-shake. "Happy Thanksgiving,"

"Haven't seen you in forever," Dan smiles. "How was your flight in?"

"Don't get me started," Roman sighs dramatically. "_Quel désastre!"_

"The point is, we survived. And we have recovered from jet-lag just in time to leave Sunday morning," Harold rolls his eyes.

"I thought you were leaving Friday," Chuck says in a deep voice, not realizing how rude he sounds.

"We're leaving _here_ Friday," Harold just smiles at his son-in-law in a nearly sarcastic way. "We're spending the last couple days in The Hamptons," he explains to Dan and now Lily.

"It's so beautiful in the fall," Lily says wistfully. "Serena,..." she swallows a gulp of her wine, "Serena just had family photos done in the Hamptons," she comments.

"Where are my copies?" Blair sounds nearly offended. "I want photos of my babies!" she exclaims causing Serena to laugh. "I have a whole wall in this hallway that needs photos!" she gestures.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head B!, I have a bunch in my purse for you to choose from," she digs into her purse and retrieves a large envelope.

"I'll take this one," she says quickly. So quickly Serena looks confused.

"I have more,"

"This is fine," she opens the nearest table drawer and throws it in, causing the hinge to fall with a loud smack.

They all sit together at a large table, Blair arranged the seating chart several times, Dorota and Chuck tried to help but she slapped their hands away, wanting full reign. The children's table was covered with colourful decorative pumpkins and cute little place holder cookies that Chuck tried to discourage for fear they would spoil their dinner. The adult table had an odd seating arrangement. In the end the guests undermined Blair and swapped out some placeholders to feel more appropriately placed.

"It doesn't make sense for me to sit at the end B," Serena said. "Come here. Sit at the head of the table,"

Blair glared at Dan for taking a seat she didn't assign to him but forced a smile and took her rightful chair at the head of the table.

The table was a source of clinks and pings as people toasted and began to enjoy their privileged dinner. They discussed Chuck's business plans which everyone politely feigned interest in for the majority of the dinner. Blair would almost rather sit with the kids who were giggling hysterically at something clearly more entertaining than Chuck's projections and figures. Lily can't help but smile as Nate fails to steer the conversation in other directions. Blair gets Serena's attention and they engage in their own side conversations about the possibility of going to Paris to see a coveted Fashion Show the following week.

"Mode à Paris,..." Blair sighs. "I've missed it three years in a row now. I would have loved to go this year," she picks up her wine glass and sips slowly.

"Why can't you?" Serena's eyes begin to squint. "C'mon B! let's do it!"

"I,..." she lowers her wine glass. "I don't know,..."

"Let's go!" Serena proposes. Dan blinks at her, wondering how she possibly came to the assumption that she could just leave her daughters again for another week. "C'mon Blair, Mode à Paris," She then looks to Dan hoping he'll be embrace the plan. "Dan?" she smiles while biting her bottom lip.

"Um,..." he clears his throat and can't help but look at Blair who is eagerly waiting for his response.

"Yeah you should go," he nods. "absolutely," Dan agrees causing Serena to smile brightly.

"Book it! let me see what I can do with work," Blair smirks at her best-friend.

"I don't know Chuck,..." Dan desperately tried to understand Chuck's investment opportunity all while negotiating how many more bites of dinner his daughter needed to eat before he could leave the table. "Two more,"

"You said that five bites ago!"

"Dan, just let her..." Serena sighed.

"She's going to be hungry in an hour," Dan explained.

"No she won't be," Blair said. "There's dessert," Blair placed her wine glass back on the table after taking a generous gulp. Dan shooed Anna off and told her she could be done now.

"So dessert you say?" Dan's eyebrows raised.

"I made apple pie..." she beamed being completely proud of herself.

"Did you actually make it?" he veiled his disbelief hoping he wouldn't offend the brunette.

"Why is that so unbelievable to you?" she stood and entered the kitchen.

"Well, I have to see _this_," Dan got up and threw his napkin on to his empty plate.

Serena laughed and took a gulp of her wine before making a snarky remark that dinner was no place for business talk. Chuck glared and Nate laughed.

The kitchen was a well oiled machine, there were trays upon trays of food lined up. "Think you have enough?" Dan joked at the superabundance of mashed potatoes. There was no way Blair's dozen or so guests could put a dent in it.

"Oh shut up," she rolled her eyes. "Everyone loves thanksgiving leftovers," she opened the oven where her apple pie had been warming. It was browned perfectly. The lattice on the top was something any pastry chef would be envious of.

"You actually made this? no help?" he asked skeptically as she pulled it out with oven mitts.

"No help," she smiled proudly. "I'm a lady of many hidden talents,"

"It's beautiful," he says with admiration.

"Thank-you," she offers with a soft smile. "We should get back before someone comes looking for dessert," she whispers as he approaches closer. Dan's eyes quickly glance up at the door but he doesn't stop. His hand finds itself on the back of her neck. Her eyes become heavy, her knees weak, she fears she may drop the pie. "Dan," she gulps as he stands behind her and kisses her bare shoulder and up her neck.

"_Dan?_,..." she barely gets out as he nuzzles her, kissing her cheek now and smelling her hair. Blair's neck is practically turned all the way around as she reaches his lips. Her body seemingly determined to deliver the pie to her guests and her lips eager to reunite with Dan. One kiss turns into more, innocent and chaste turns into illicid. It takes all Blair has to not put down the pie and let him lift her up onto the counter. She opens her mouth wider and wider to him, she's breathing in pants, her hands shake.

"_Don't drop the pie, Blair,_" Dan whispers, he takes the dish from her. "It would be a tragedy," he smiles. Blair steps away from him and towards the door. Dan presses his lips together trying to gather himself before they go back out to their friends and family members.

"Wait," Blair inspected his face and used her thumb to remove what might be a trace of lipstick before they head back to the dining-room. Dan looks at the pie again. "_I'm going to have to sit here and witness you baking next time_,"

"Just get the door," she rolled her eyes lovingly.

"There's no way she made this right?" Dan followed behind Blair. He placed the pie in the middle of the table and everyone gave it a good look.

"Oh my god, B! it's gorgeous," Serena clapped.

"She bought that at Whole Foods!" Nate protested.

"How dare you say that Nathaniel!" Blair looked offended.

"I've been here all day, I witnessed every step!" Harold testified for his daughter.

"You're very talented, darling," Chuck came behind Blair and kissed her cheek.

"Thanks," she began slicing into the pie and placed the pieces on dessert plates that Chuck held out for her.

"Be honest Harold. How much did you help?" Dan asked. Harold's eyebrows raise but he doesn't say anything. Blair glared at Dan, he responded with a playful shrug and she couldn't help but laugh.

Once everyone was so full they couldn't possibly eat another bite, they retired to the living area and sat by the fire with coffee and mixed drinks. "Darling, you're missing an earring," Eleanor pointed. Blair touched her earlobe and began scanning the carpet for her lost diamond. "I just had it," she walked the length of the carpet as everyone else tried to help her. After about five minutes she decided she could look for it later and accepted a drink that Chuck placed in her hand.

"Look what I almost stepped on!" Dan held up Blair's lost sparkle.

"Dan saves the day!" Serena exclaimed. "What would you do without him?" she teased Blair.

"Serena would you care for a Manhattan?" Chuck asked while holding a crystal bottle filled with amber liquid.

"I would!" she giggled, getting up to witness his drink making skills.

With their spouses engrossed and everyone else seemingly focused on Henry's sudden tantrum, Dan helped reunite Blair with her stray earring. "Here," he moved closer and closer still, gently running his thumb behind her ear all the way down her neck.

"_Come over tonight_," she breathes as he puts her earring in.

"I can't,"

"Please?"

"No,"

"Dan,..." she started.

"There you go. Good as new," he looked at her symmetrical ears. "Good thing too because i'm sure it was throwing off your balance," he rambled. "Chuck what are those ten Carats each?"

"_Twenty_," he said simply in his usual gruff voice still playing bartender.

"And that tells you what I know about diamonds," he laughed.

"Thank-you Daniel," Blair says with a near scoff. "It looks like we need another bottle of wine,"

As Blair looks over the hundreds of bottles in the pantry cellar, Dan walks in and startles her. "Announcing your presence is a common courtesy," she rests her hand over her heart.

"Looking for anything in particular?" he asks. She ignores him and keeps looking. Dan looks out the door to make sure no one is in ear-shot then walks closer to her.

"Blair, c'mon," he sighs.

"If you're not coming tonight then don't bother for the rest of the week," she pulls a bottle from the rack and it makes a slight ting sound as the glass scrapes the iron.

"_Don't threaten me_," he says under his breath.

"_Then don't make me_," she sneers.

"What do you want me to do?,"

"I want you to go be with your wife, Dan." she goes back to the wine rack, looking for another French bottle. Dan walks a little closer, picks a bottle off the rack thinking if they are caught in here together it won't be suspicious if he's helping her. "Did you not hear me?" it rolls off her tongue like poison.

"What's happening?" he asked. "Blair,...this is what you wanted,"

Blair continued to ignore him. "Please remember,...this is what you wanted, not what I wanted..."

...

"He treats me like a stepmother," Blair whines. Her back is pressed against Dan's chest as they lounge on her sofa.

"You _are_ his stepmother," Dan says with amusement while stroking her hair and placing it behind her ear.

"No I mean Chuck, Chuck treats me like i'm Henry's stepmother,"

"Again, you are," he says simply.

"I'm the only mother he's ever known!," she says hotly. "I'm not just his dad's wife! I've been with Chuck since before he was even thought of!" her hands raise into the air in frustration. Dan's hands reach around and link with hers. She relaxes slightly as he strokes the backs of her hands with his thumbs. ",...and now it's done. He has his heir, his son to pass on his name. I never planned for this. It was just thrown at me and I try to act like i'm fine with it and I embrace him but it's not fair," she sighs. "It's not fair to me that his father spread his seed all around Europe before we got back together,..."

"It's not Henry's fault," Dan says simply.

"I know that. It's just not my ideal,..."

"Things are rarely ideal."

Blair glanced up at Dan and Serena's family photo she made Dorota hang.

...


	2. Forbidden

**A/N:** Thank-you so much for your reviews! I appreciate them so much and i'm glad people like it because this is where my mind goes when I think of the finale. I could have made this longer but I have more ideas so I cut it off here.

**FORBIDDEN**

**April 15th 2013**

Blair would describe this day as sadly cliche. Their tryst started in a similar way to the plot of the film, "Unfaithful" and her only regret was that Dan's true story couldn't have been penned prior. If it wasn't published or turned into a film, It was still her favourite bedtime story.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Sitting alone at a table for four was severely embarrassing for Blair who hid behind her menu and waited for Chuck, Serena and Dan to arrive. As Dan approached she looked up and frowned. "How is it even possible you're more fashionably late than I am?," she rolled her eyes. "Where's Serena?" she asked with a slight alarm in her voice. That jabbing inflection that made Dan cringe but adore her all at the same time was exactly what he expected.

"She should be here soon," he sat and flipped through the menu. The server came by and filled all four water glasses. After about ten minutes Dan made an effort to start some small talk. "I didn't think it was supposed to rain today," he glanced outside and took a sip of his water. "when do you suppose it'll let up?"

"Oh save it!," Blair groaned. "Where are they?!" she whined, becoming more agitated by the second.

"I think it's safe to say they stood us up," Dan checked his phone. The word, SORRY, in a text message was all he needed to know she had bailed on him once again. "Do you think it's possible they set this up? You know to maybe get us to patch things up? we didn't exactly leave on a good note after your wedding,"

"That would mean they took time out of their precious days to care about people other than themselves," Blair said in an uppity voice. "also Chuck would acquire zero gain out of you and I absolving our issues," she smiled sarcastically.

"I suppose we should just leave then," he scratched the back of his neck.

"Or,..." she sighed. "We could just eat," she almost shrugged. "I'm starving and i'm going to have to rush home and do some prepping for a proposal I have for tonight so I don't really have a lot of time. It wasn't supposed to be today but I got a call and,..."

"A proposal? for what?" he was genuinely interested in her life and where it was going after the last four months of being married to Chuck Bass. Surely she would assume the role of quiet and supporting housewife. Blair explained with great pride that she was launching her own fashion house.

"I know you probably think is sounds ridiculous, but it's not at all like that silly pop up show,..."

"I don't think it's ridiculous at all," he interjected.

"I'm doing it all by myself," she smiled looking at her napkin. "I'm collaborating with a few unknown designers and we're going to have a show and everything,"

"All while stroking Chuck's ego every-day? where do you find the time?" he said with all the sass of a teenage girl.

"Forget it. I shouldn't have told you,"

"I'm just kidding," he shrugged. "Really, i'm impressed," he nodded.

They ordered their food which was surprisingly quick to the table. Blair starred at Dan's dish with intrigue. "Can I help you?" he laughed as he watched her eyes fall to the creamy risotto.

"It's everything that's forbidden to me," she smirked. "Carbs, cream, cheese!," she laughed.

"All things delicious," Dan nodded taking another bite. "But enjoy your salad," he winked.

"I will!" she stabbed the baby spinach with her fork.

"Oh c'mon. Just ask," he leaned back in his chair and waited.

"Ask for what?" she covered her mouth politely as not to talk with her mouth full.

"You want to try it," he said simply.

"No,..." she shook her head. Dan pushed the plate towards her. "Just do it, I won't tell anyone," he pretended he was covering his eyes.

"Well if you insist," she held her fork out. "I'll take a bite from this side," she turned the plate. "I wouldn't want to bring home any of your germs,..."

"I used to use your toothbrush,..."

"You did!?" she cried out.

"No. But we swapped a lot of spit," he deadpanned.

"You're disgusting. I must have been out of my mind," she masked a smile. "Don't finish that thought,..."

"What thought?" he laughed.

"I know you were about to say something else,"

"Now i'm curious!, what did you think I was going to say?"

"That we swapped _other bodily fluids too_," she said under her breath with a cringe.

"Oh now you're _disgusting_,..." he made a face. "Blair Waldorf, where did you get such a dirty mind?"

"Bass," she corrected him, clearing her throat and reaching for her glass of water.

"I know," he smiled. "But i'm still going to call you Waldorf. It's just who you are,"

"Well Chuck would disagree,..." she sighed.

"What do you mean?" he grabbed for his water, his eyes locked on hers.

"My fashion house is called BCW&amp;CO,"

"And he's upset the Bass wasn't represented?"

"Of course. I should have expected that," she said regretfully. "But I can't. Everyone already thinks i'm the next Georgina Chapman and I don't want that!"

"No of course not," he agreed.

"I want to make my own way," she said discretely.

"You will," he nodded sweetly.

Blair took a fork full of the risotto and sighed with contentment. "The taste of the forbidden," she pushed his plate back.

"Well if it's forbidden maybe you should have another bite," he sent the plate back over to her.

"Maybe I will," she smiled.

Dan decided he wanted her to know about why he started the Gossip Girl. She asked to be spared the details. "We were having a nice lunch and now you want to bring up all the reasons I hate you?" her eyes narrowed, she pushed his plate away.

"I promise you," he said genuinely. "I did not release your diary to the world. I didn't," he stressed. "I would never want to hurt you,"

"..._I believe you,_" she surprised herself by saying it.

They exited the restaurant together. Blair opened her umbrella before Dan opened the door. "Really?, I thought you were superstitious,"

"I have a meeting remember? I can't very well show up looking like a drowned rat,"

Almost immediately a strong, gust of wind caught Blair's umbrella, stripping the material off it's metal skeleton. "AHH!" she yelled with surprise. After Dan finished laughing he dug into his briefcase, pulled out his umbrella and held it over her head. "You really don't have to do this," Blair said as they crossed the street. If it wasn't raining hard enough already, the sky seemed to open up and unleash buckets on the people of New York City.

"OH MY GOD!" Blair grabbed hold of her trench coat trying to keep it closed. "This is horrible!" she exclaimed as they continued to run towards her home.

"Hurry!" she almost slipped in her Louboutins, if it wasn't for Dan she would have landed face first into a puddle. The wind picked up and Dan had to angle the umbrella to keep her dry. The reached Blair's apartment and stood under the awning.

"You look like you went swimming," she frowned a little feeling bad for the guy. His pants barely had one dry patch and his face was dripping.

"I'm not the one with the meeting," he said.

"Thank-you," she smiled genuinely.

"Good-luck today," he nodded accepting the gratitude, "see-ya," he turned around.

"Dan, wait...come up and get a towel,"

He looked back at the sky, "I don't think this is going to let up so a towel might be kind of useless," he chuckled.

"Then come up and wait for it to stop, please?"

"Blair, really it's okay. It's just water,"

"Please take it as my peace offering. We'll consider things patched up?"

Dan couldn't decline. He didn't want to leave things on such a sour note for so long. He missed talking to her. Dan stood in the foyer of the Bass penthouse feeling so out of place. He couldn't sit anywhere, he was soaked. His umbrella created a puddle on the marble floor by his feet. Blair didn't leave him hanging long, she handed him a towel so he could dry off his soaking face. She didn't know why but her heart was thumping.

Dan leaned over and dried his hair the best he could with the towel. He stood up with every intention of thanking her but he didn't have the chance. She leaned in and kissed him. Her heart dropped with guilt. She wasn't sure what happened, she exercised the usual ease to which she kissed him when he was hers. It was like they didn't miss a beat, he was just as shocked as she was but instead of saying anything he kissed her back, his hand on the back of her neck, neither of them worrying about keeping her clothes dry anymore. His head is spinning and he consciously reminds himself this is not a dream as she kisses his damp throat and neck. Her fingers efficiently unbutton his shirt while she continues to kiss his familiar skin. Dan presses his lips against hers with impossible force, he doesn't worry himself with being gentle like usual. All his worries fall on how quickly this could end and how he needs to feel as much of her as possible right now. He's so happy but so fearful that she will come to her senses and realize they're terrible people. What Dan doesn't know is that Blair is having the exact same feelings. She sighs with relief when he pushes at her dress straps and buries his head in her cleavage. "Blair, this is,...", his breathing is erratic, his hands roam all over her backside, lifting up her dress and feeling the smooth curve of her ass, his lips kiss all over her neck, she runs her hands up and down his bare torso, his soaking wet shirt hanging heavy. "_It's forbidden_," she whispers into his ear, he can almost feel her smile against his pulse point now. They don't even make it to her bedroom or any soft surface for that matter. She discards his wet shirt and her now wet panties before rushing up the staircase. They have fast, hungry sex at the top of her stairs. Blair's dress is wrapped and twisted all around her midsection, her breasts being worshipped by Dan's kisses and sucks, her thighs parted and so very accommodating to him as he thrusts into her. Her back arches in pleasure, she cries out in euphoric bliss. Blair remembers everything he likes, Dan remembers everything that makes her shiver. They don't toss out any pancakes this time, they pick up exactly where they left off.

Blair is surprised that instead of guilt she feels sadness.

She realizes she misses Dan.

She realizes it's too late.

A brunch date is scheduled to make up for the missed lunch. Blair is apprehensive as she gets ready, she worries Serena will sense something happened at lunch the day before. They're guilt stricken at the table. Blair can tell Dan is overcompensating by talking to her as much as possible and proving there's nothing weird between them. He gives her a hard time, he teases her and calls her a pretentious princess like always. She pretends to loath him, picks up on his cues and follows through so beautifully he could kiss her.

"What would you know about home decor? your apartment is orange!" her eyes narrow.

"At least my apartment feels like a home and not a cold museum,..."

"What do you mean? You love museums, you prick,"

"I don't want to live in one!"

Blair is loving this but it scares her all at the same time. She fears that Dan may regret what happened the day prior while she doesn't regret it at all.

"Well this was,..._fun_," Chuck mumbles to himself as he pays the bill.

"Here," Dan pushes a book across the table.

"What's this?" Blair's eyebrows knit together.

"The book you wanted to borrow," he blinks like she's losing her mind.

"Oh,...right," she nods.

"I can't stress this enough, do not lick your thumb to turn the pages," he shuddered. "and if you fold the pages to mark your place I will never lend you a book ever again. Use a book mark like a human being,"

"Lending each-other books!" Serena's hands pressed together, "I'm so happy to see you guys making an effort, really," she rubbed Dan's back, he smiled at her and leaned in for a kiss. "I appreciate it,"

When Blair got home she hurried to her office and ripped the book out of her purse. She flipped through the pages quickly, then turned it upside down and gave it a tap. A piece of blue paper fell to the ground. The paper was simple, it held Dan's phone number that was long deleted out of her phone. She figures Dan probably didn't have her number anymore either and he wasn't about to ask Serena for it. Blair pulled out her phone and sent a quick text message.

_Isn't this a lot of trouble for a cell-phone number? -B_

_Not when it's forbidden- D_

_Am I supposed to eat this paper now? or burn it? -B_

_Dispose of it how ever you wish. Meet me tonight? -D_

_Where? -B _


	3. Shame

**A/N:** You guys are awesome! So inspiring to read your comments! I'm so happy you're following my canon.

**SHAME**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**XXXXXXXX**

**February 13th 2014**

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

It has to be a joke. A french woman Blair has never met, and never heard of, is dying of cancer. This stranger's son is the only heir to Blair's husband's fortune.

"Please don't!," she begs Chuck.

"What am I supposed to do?!" he yells.

"Stay here and wait until the DNA test is performed," she sounds so desperate it's heartbreaking but all Chuck's sees is his pathetic wife who overreacts and never learned how to self-soothe.

"Blair!," he can't believe she's actually fallen to her knees begging him not to leave. "That's why I have to go," his jaw clenches.

"I can't believe this,..." she wipes her tears.

"I have to leave now if I want to make my flight. I'll be home next week if all goes well,"

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"It means if everything is sorted legally and I can bring him home," he says calmly.

"Bring him home?!," she gags.

"Get a grip Blair!" he yells before walking into the elevator and leaving her on the floor.

Trying to keep calm she drinks tea by the window as Chuck boards a plane. She contemplates calling Dan, but instead calls Serena after she forces herself to vomit. She can barely understand her as she breaks down again, "It's a boy. He's two and a half," her voice shakes. "He's going to bring him home. I know it," she inhales and tries to calm herself.

Serena acts like it's a blessing and Blair wants to shake her. "B! this is so great!, you have an insta-family,"

"What exactly is great about the fact Chuck screwed a random person in France and now I have to be reminded of that everyday," she rests her head in her hands.

"He wasn't with you then B," she shrugs with a laugh. "it's not like he cheated on you,"

"Well, i'm sorry if i'm not shouting from the rooftops how excited I am," she blinked to keep the tears in.

After a week Chuck still wasn't home but he kept her updated every step of the way;The paternity test that came back positive, the legal process, the way Chuck spoke of the child as if he was the best thing that ever happened to him.

**XXXXXX**

"It's because Chuck is his only living relative. He feels very connected to him," Blair shoved a fork full of carbonara into her mouth while out for lunch with Serena.

"Well, Blair,...he's his son. I don't think anything else matters. He wants him because he's his son," she explained.

"He looks like he drools a lot,..." she cringed, starring down at her phone.

"Blair, he's just a baby," Serena grabbed her hand and made her look at a photo that Chuck proudly sent. "Look at how sweet he is," Serena's always sunny disposition drove Blair insane on a regular day, today she was absolutely angry. Blair needed a friend, she needed someone to understand how upsetting this was to her. Reassure her that everything would be fine later but for now, let her vent, let her talk, let her explain and get these feelings off her chest. Blair always listened when Serena was complaining about how distant Dan had been lately. Truthfully, she knew why Serena's boyfriend had been distancing himself from her. Dan had been telling Blair that he planned on breaking up with Serena but he wasn't sure exactly how to do it. While Serena got excited about Dan moving into her penthouse and discussed how great domestic life would be, Blair bit her tongue and let her live in the delusional world where Dan would make her waffles every Saturday morning. Blair couldn't wait for Dan to finally end it with Serena. She was sick of the guilt and looked forward to having Dan to herself whenever Chuck was gone.

"Can you keep a secret?" Serena's thousand-watt smile practically blinded her.

"Depends," Blair loved secrets and her interest was peaked. "For how long?" she played coy.

"Just until I tell Dan," she bit her lip.

"Oh Serena,..." her stomach dropped.

"I'm pregnant!" she threw her hands in the air in excitement.

",...Oh" her mouth opened but hardly anything came out.

"Our babies can be friends!" Serena exclaimed.

"How did this happen?" Blair blinked rapidly trying to calm herself.

"Blair,..." Serena rolled her eyes with a giggle. "Do I really have to explain it to you?" she tilted her head.

"How. Did. It. Happen.?" she enunciated carefully explaining what she meant. "Serena, are you an idiot?" she spoke under her breath.

"Excuse me?" Serena's eyesbrows raised.

"Are you an idiot?" she asked again.

"Sometimes babies just happen and I thought my friend would be supportive of me!" she yelled.

"Did you stop taking your pill?" she asked.

"What?" her eyes narrowed at the accusation.

"Did you?," Blair asked. "did you stop?"

"Blair, I can't believe you would ask me such a,..."

"You've been on the pill since ninth grade and you've never had so much as a scare..." her eyebrows raised. "You did this on purpose,..."

"So what if I did?" she pursed her lips together.

"Serena,..." she sighed.

"You know what Blair,..." Serena got up from the table. "You can never be happy for anyone," she spoke quietly. "I'm sorry that i'm having a baby before you and i'm sorry Chuck has a baby that isn't with you, but it's not going to stop me from being happy. I won't let you ruin my joy, not this time," she left the restaurant after throwing money down on the table.

Blair waited for Dan's phone-call that night. It never came.

**XXXXX**

_"_You shouldn't get married just because she's pregnant," Blair said even though she knew it was a losing battle. Dan was too good of a guy, he would always do the right thing even though he felt like he was suffocating.

"What's the alternative, Blair?" He rubbed his eyes.

"She's only, what?,...six weeks in?"

"Don't finish that thought,"

"I'm just saying. Anything could happen and she has time, it's not like she's going to show for another few months," she tried to sound optimistic. "Dan, don't marry her," she requested easily. "Don't,"

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I don't want you to," she frowned.

"You know," he looked at her with big, sad eyes. "I said the same thing to you on your wedding day,..." A tear spilled on to Blair's cheek. "do you think i'm going to respond differently?"

Blair talked Serena into waiting until after the baby was born to get married by telling her she looked bloated in her dress fitting. She should have felt like a terrible friend when she made Serena admit to the designer that she couldn't fit in any of the samples pulled because she was no longer a size four. When she embarrassedly told the designer she was pregnant, Blair felt joy. The stigma still existed in the wedding dress world. Not so much about having children out of wedlock, more about rushing into a marriage to prevent a bastard. It was always more appropriate to wait until after the baby arrived. "Wait until after! then you can drink! and you'll feel like yourself!" Blair could relax a little longer. Having sex with her best-friend's boyfriend on a regular basis didn't seem as bad as having sex with her bestfriend's husband on a regular basis.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Blair sits in front of her therapist once a week. Dr. Knox is a bright middle-aged woman with dark, brown hair topped with wiry, silver strands. She has a kind face that allows Blair to easily disclose incriminating facts about her husband and purge humiliating, shameful details about herself, including her affair with Dan. Chuck hired Dr. Knox when his wife's eating disorder first returned. He treated her bulimia as an embarrassing secret that showed it's head at inopportune moments, always at times least convenient to him, especially when he was leaving for a long business trip. Thoughtfully, he hired someone she can talk to other than himself, someone who can actually help without getting easily frustrated. At first, Blair had zero intention of discussing anything other than her eating disorder with Dr. Knox, but slowly she discovered that this was the only person she could trust with her shame.

"Blair, what has changed exactly?," her head tilts slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"You used to come here and tell me about your guilt and now i'm starting to get the impression that you're bragging," she bit her lip wondering if she was correct.

"A fair assumption," she thought for a moment. "I'm impressed that we've been able to maintain our relationship without anyone finding out. I'm pleased that everything has worked out the way we've intended,"

"You seem at peace,"

"I've accepted that this is how things will have to be," she says with a soft sigh.

"You don't see any other options?" Dr. Knox blinked with disbelief.

"Have you ever been in love with two people at once?" Blair asked.

"You and Dan are in love?" she seemed amused by the notion.

"Would we in this ten year tryst if we weren't?" she said easily.

"You have accepted that cheating is what works best for you?"

"We love our families, we love our spouses, we love our lives. But,...without each other we're miserable. We have created a perfectly functioning situation. No one gets hurt, and we get to live completely fulfilled,"

"And how long is that going to work?"

Blair didn't say anything.

"Are you in love with Chuck?"

"Isn't that what I just said?" her forehead crinkled as she wondered if her therapist was listening.

"I know what you said," she put down her notebook. "And i'm asking. Are you in love with Chuck?"

"I love Chuck," she nodded.

"That's not what I asked, Blair." she said softly. "Are you IN love with Chuck?" she asked again.

She's silent again.

"I don't doubt that you love him. I just wonder if you've been having some doubts about the past," she knew she struck a nerve when she saw Blair's eyes fill.

"_He asked me to leave Chuck a long time ago," _her voice is a near whisper. "_I said no_,"

"Why?" Dr. Knox asked.

"What was I supposed to do? Live in Williamsburg? Give up my fashion line!? Ruin everything by telling my pregnant best-friend that I wanted Dan AGAIN!?" she covers her eyes. "I'm sure that would have gone over well," she sniffed.

"So you just have sex with him on a regular basis?"

"You of all people know that it's more than that," she almost hissed.

"I want you to outline your perfect life for me. Tell me exactly how you could be happy, how all your problems could be resolved,"

"I don't have any problems. This is exactly what I wanted," she sits up straighter now.

"Tell me about Henry. Have things improved after I suggested you plan activities for just the two of you?"

"Henry has no interest in me,"

"Maybe you should show interest in the things Henry likes?" she smiled. "Remember? he's a child and you're the adult. You need to be the one to reach out,"

"How many times have I told you,..." she made two fists with her hands, "he tells me he hates me,"

"Why is that?"

"Because his father poisons him against me _everytime I try_," her eyes filled up and her voice broke, "I think i've had enough for today," she gathered her purse and jacket.

**XXXXXXX**

After putting on her best lingerie she stares at herself in the mirror, examining her makeup. She's not sure why she does it. He's expressed his disinterest in lingerie and doesn't particularly care if she wears makeup or not. Somehow she needs to do this for herself, she needs to feel more desirable than Serena, she needs to put in effort to be his favourite. She _needs_ to be his favourite.

"Hi," she says wistfully from the lounger. "Come sit with me," she draws a circle on the cushion. Dan joins her, unable to keep his lips off hers while doing so. "I missed you," she sighs.

"So that means you don't want to go to Mode è Paris then?" he smiles before kissing her again.

"She falls for it every single time," Blair smirked while unbuttoning his shirt.

"Wait, wait," he takes gentle hold of her hand. "How are you?" he asked genuinely.

"We can talk later I just wanna,..." she bit her lip.

"How was therapy?"

"Dan,..." she sighed.

"What did you talk about today?" he asked while kissing her forehead.

"I don't want to talk about therapy," she said impishly while pressing kisses to his chest. "I don't want to talk at all,"

Dan laughed lightly. "It's eight," he checked his watch and kissed her head again.

Blair promptly got up from the couch and pulled out her cellphone, dialed a number and waited patiently, clearing her throat. "S!" Blair gasped. "Oh my god,...I'm so sorry! I can't meet you there. Work is sending me to LA at the last minute! They always do this. That bitch Monica had to cancel because her brat got walking pneumonia,...It's not my fault she has a kid!," she walked backwards until Dan's hands found themselves all over her ass. "I know it happened last time, I'm sorry," she stiffled a moan when Dan's fingers began to tease her. "I just can't get out of it. I have to board the plane right now! they're going to take my phone away from me. I love you! bye bye," she fell into his lap and kissed his neck.

They sat in silence for a few minutes and just like clockwork Dan's phone rang. "Hello?" he answered quickly.

"She always does this to you!" Blair had taught Dan how to lie over the years. "You need to stop going places with her. Are you going to come home? No, I think you should stay. I mean you're there now and Poppy is going to be there. Have fun. Enjoy yourself," he smiles into the phone. "I know i'm right. I'm always right. okay, i'll talk to you tomorrow. bye,"

"Have I ever told you that you're sexy when you lie?" Blair smiled impishly as she straddled him.

"Blair," Dan pulled away. "C'mon, let's talk. Lately all we do is,..."

"Humphrey, you're such a girl," he chuckled.

"I have every intention of rocking your world, but first tell me about,..."

"Rocking my world?" she snorted.

"Tell me about your day," he ignored her tease. Blair's eyes fluttered up to the wall while she thought about her therapy session, she found herself gazing at Dan and Serena's family photo. Serena's staged family photos are near sickening to Blair. She wonders if her best-friend could be any more unoriginal. Every single photo looks like it could have been purchased with the frame, staged. Of course she picked the fall, because the leaves are changing and the park looks so lovely. She wants to wants to bundle the girls up in muted layers and pick pumpkins and dress Dan so he looks like a goddamn, Marc Jacobs puppet. Truthfully, she thinks he looks like an asshole. She can imagine him sitting on that massive uprooted tree branch, letting Serena wrap that stupid scarf around his neck. He's smiling at her like the most doting and loyal husband. The kids are cute, could easily be plucked from a line-up of children who's parent's eagerly hope they'll make it in show business. Anna and Paige, Four and three. She got pregnant eleven weeks after spitting out the first. When Blair found out about baby number two, Serena commented, "Dan, never misses" she tried not to cringe, masked her look of fear, and bought condoms the next day. They never used them. When Blair looks at these pictures all she sees are lies. She knows she's Dan's dream and Serena is his reality. She knows he's always wanted her, and books and coffee and art and instead he's stuck with second best, with endless responsibilities, a job he hates, a wife he shares no interests with, no inspiration and no long term goals. In the picture he smiles like this is exactly where he wants to be. Fuck off.

The family photos should make her feel guilty, they should make her feel dirty, but they don't. She knows it's sick and twisted but loves that he looks like a perfect husband and father, gallant and loyal, when I know otherwise. She knows he's just like her. His wedding band proudly displayed in the photo is the same one that finds itself on her nightstand. She loves when he forgets to take it off and fingers her with the same hand. Those same friendly eyes in the photos are the ones that undress her during family functions and stare into hers when she comes. She lays on his shoulder and continues to complain about her step-son. He kisses her forehead and reminds her that she has a great life. She looks up past his head again and remembers that she doesn't have a pumpkin harvesting family.

**XXXXXX**


	4. Deceitful

A/N: Thank you all for everything :) I love reading your feedback, It's a short one but that's because I feel so bad about making you wait!

**Deceitful **

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

**PRESENT**

"Come away with me," it sounds more like a demand than a request. She walks towards the chair he's sitting in and grabs for his hands, then places them on her ass.

"I can't, I can't," he sighs regretfully with a shake of his head.

"You never spend enough time with me," she pouts, it's impish, it's sexy, he loves it.

"We just went to film forum," he says.

"A meer hour and a half, Humphrey..." she rolls her eyes.

"I have many obligations," he reminds her while running his hands down her legs, stopping at the seam of her hosiery. "I'll remind you, I have to divide my time between four very demanding women," he smiles. Blair smirks and licks her lips before running her long, red fingernails down her sternum, pulling the thin fabric of her blouse away, just enough so he can see the pink of her nipples. She takes his other hand and kisses his palm.

"But I get the least attention, daddy," she places his hand inside her blouse.

Just the touch of her nipple under his hand makes him rock hard. "You want attention?" he continues to caress her nipple making her whimper out.

"Yeah," she breathes, arching her back gently, giving him more access.

Dan peels her blouse off and pulls her closer so he can bring her nipple into his mouth. Blair feels her entire body shiver, her legs start to shake.

"You really shouldn't leave the tickets in the trash like that," she whimpers out, mid moan. "What if Serena found them?" she bites her lip impishly.

"You overestimate my wife," Dan breathes, still sucking and kissing her breasts.

"and you underestimate my husband," her arousal is peaking so hard she thinks she might come just like this.

"What do you mean?" he kisses her shoulder, pulls her panties to the side and slips his finger inside her.

"you left your suit jacket in my bedroom. I told him it was mine. Uhh-ahh," she grabs his shoulders to stabilize herself as he focuses on her clit. "You can never wear it again," she moans.

"I loved that jacket," he says nearly out of breath.

"Causality of our liasion. Don't be so careless next time," she barely gets out.

"it's not necessary when you're a brilliant and skilled liar"

"If you keep doing that I'm going to come,"

"Come,"

**PAST**

Blair knows Serena was taken into the hospital several hours ago. She doesn't call, she just waits in anticipation, checking facebook for any possible update. She hates that Serena uses social media to showcase her perfect life, it makes her feel like she's rubbing it in her face. Pictures of every breakfast Dan ever made litter her feed with 'food porn' and 'best fiancé ever' hashtags. Pictures of her growing body in silhouette with 'blessed' and 'we're so excited' captions pop up every month so her "fans" can follow her every milestone. She posted all the updates they made on their lower east side brownstone. Blair always called it quaint and small but truthfully she envied every inch of their home from the steps to the nursery.

As Serena's due date approached, Dan had cut off all contact with Blair.

The text arrives at quarter after ten pm.

**_Girl. 7 pounds, 2 oz. 9:24pm - Dan_**

**_Congratulations. What's her name? - B_**

**_Anna Allison Humphrey -Dan_**

It's cold. It's perfunctory. In the pit of her stomach she knows everything has changed.

**Pretty - B**

He's sitting by the window, studying the face of his newborn baby. He didn't look up when Blair entered the room, he's entranced. Blair knows his emotions are mixed but she's sure his feelings about her have changed. Whenever Blair felt like she could cry after Serena's latest Facebook post or her last humble brag over lunch, she would receive a sweet text message or a surprise visit at her penthouse. That's when he would tell her, and show her, how much he loved her. This is the first time she's seen him in weeks and her heart thumps hard in her chest.

"B!" Serena practically screeches when she sees her friend. Serena's hair is pulled up into a ponytail but wispy pieces around her hairline are free and frizzy.

"How are you?" she asked genuinely but looks to Dan who now looked up and made eye contact.

"It was nothin'," Blair giggles, smacking her hands down on the bed, her engagement ring sparkles and stings Blair's eyes.

"Humphrey with a baby," she tries to be snarky but it falls flat, she's too upset.

"Hey," Dan offers casually. "You want to hold her?"

"Sure," she takes the baby into her arms and smiles at Dan. "Umm," she feels uncomfortable. This baby is pure and perfect and she feels dirty. She knows in her heart that Anna deserves a good father, and a man who cheats on her mother week after week with her best-friend could never be a good man. Anna deserves a godmother who stands by her mother and doesn't betray her time and time again. Blair leaves the hospital that night and vows to never reach out to Dan again. Instead of moving on, she tortures herself by continuing to watch the endless stream of happy Dan, Serena and baby photos. They're happy, they're so happy she feels hollow. Once in awhile she'll pull her eyes away from the feed to watch Chuck and Henry bond over something she has zero interest in.

A week later, Dan is standing in her elevator.

"You shouldn't be here," she's standoffish. He smiles lightly and she knows there's no way she's going to make him leave.

"Why? is Chuck here?" he asks quietly.

"No, but Dan,..." she pulls away as he tries to hug her.

"Blair,..." he walks closer. "Come here," he takes her hands in his and makes her look into his eyes.

"Where have you been?" she frowns. "I miss you," her eyes are glossy and full of tears.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I couldn't get away," he squeezes her hand. She knows he's sincere.

"You just left me," she shakes her head.

"Blair," he makes her look at him. "I love you. You know I do. I just have a lot going on. You know that," he says softly.

She wraps her arms around him and pulls him close. Dan begins kissing up her neck and she moans out in pleasure. Suddenly her dress drops to the ground and she shrieks out in delight as he scoops her up and drops her gently on to the bed. "When does Chuck get back?" he asks while pulling her panties down and tossing the tiny fabric to the floor.

"He'll be gone all weekend," she grins.

"Maybe i'll stay tonight then," he proposes while kissing her stomach.

"Dorota will be here nice and early in the morning," she sings as he carefully parts her legs.

"Well then I guess I should leave before she gets here," he kisses the inside of her thigh, it's hot and wet and she whimpers out in anticipation.

A series of soft sighs pass Blair lips as Dan's tongue strokes her sex. Blair's toes curl and she runs her hand up the back of his neck letting him know she doesn't want him to stop.

At four am Dan buttons up his shirt and heads for the elevator, Blair rushes behind him while tying up her silk robe. "See you tomorrow?" she smirks.

"Of course," he leans in and kisses her gently. He pulls away slowly and smiles, "you're so beautiful,"

When Dan gets home, Serena is sitting in the dark of their bedroom. At first he thinks she's coughing but then he realizes she's crying. "Oh honey, what's wrong?" he feels his stomach turn hoping she doesn't know where he's been for the last few hours.

"Did I wake you up?" she sniffs.

"Serena, what's wrong?"

"I didn't think it would be like this!" she covers her face with her hands.

"What are you talking about?" he's confused.

"I don't think I like her!" she cries harder now.

"The baby? you don't like the baby?" he leans in and tries to comfort her.

"She's horrible!, all she does is cry and scream,...she doesn't even look like me! I wanted her to look like me!"

"Serena, she's only a week old, she's going to be demanding and yes she cries more than she's calm but that's normal," he assured her. "And she does look like you

"She looks like Jenny!" she said as if it was the worst thing in the world. Dan is confused by this. He thinks Anna is the cutest baby in the world but ever since Rufus mentioned that she looked exactly like Jenny when she was a baby, it was all Serena could focus on.

"I think she hates me,"

"She doesn't hate you," he assures her and kisses her cheek.

"I think I hate her,..." her face twists and she tries biting her lip to stop herself from bawling but it doesn't work.

"No you don't," he shakes his head. "You don't," he wipes the tears off her face. "You're just tired. You're a great mother, and she loves you. And I love you,"

Dan doesn't contact Blair the next day.

A/N: Thoughts?


	5. Heartbreak

A/N: Another big thanks to all the readers :)

**Heartbreak**

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

**"**Do you want to come over?" Dan asked. "I uh,...it's not going to be anything exciting. But if hanging out with a newborn tickles your fancy, i'll be here all night," he laughs sheepishly and she can imagine him scratching the back of his neck worried she would decline. She hasn't seen him since Serena threw her last lavish dinner party where she showed off new favourite accessory; baby Anna.

"Where's Serena?" Blair asked. The baby started fussing in the background and she listened to Dan exercise his very new but very well developed daddy skills.

"O no no no, you're okay, you're okay," he speaks to the baby. "Hey sorry, what were you saying?" he asked once the baby calmed down.

"I was just wondering where Serena is,"

"Serena has taken it upon herself to enter a relaxation centre!," his voice is laced with a fake enthusiasm.

"A relaxation center?" she snorted.

"It's technically a rehab facility but they cover a wide spectrum of patients," he chuckled.

"She's been a mother for exactly fifteen days and she needs a relaxation facility?" Blair's eyes squinted trying to understand.

"Relaxation center,..." Dan laughed knowing it was absurd.

"You work from home Dan,... you also have a nanny!" Blair couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I think she has a bad case of the baby-blues," he excused Serena's behaviour and Blair sensed his sympathy. "She's a good mom. Just a little postpartum depression. It'll pass,.." she can tell he's assuring himself.

"Well I guess I wouldn't understand," Blair inhaled. "When should I come over?"

"Whenever you wish, she's actually asleep right now which means she will wake up anywhere from five seconds to three hours. But when you get here we can wake her up," he laughed.

"Good because I have every intention of waking her up"

"Alright,.."

"Dan,..." she inhaled.

"Blair,..." he replied.

"I can't believe you're a dad,"

"I know,"

There were a few seconds of silence, "Get your cute butt over here,"

"Okay," she smiled into the receiver.

Dan answered the beautiful, brownstone door in a black button up with jeans and a receiving blanket over his shoulder. "Welcome," he greeted her very professionally and allowed her to walk up the stairs to the cozy living-room. Pictures of Anna, blown up to preposterous sizes covered one wall. They were black and white and extremely artistic. One was a close up of her tiny hand squeezing Dan's finger.

"Beautiful artwork," she smirked.

"Beautiful subject matter," Dan smiled. "My mom did them,"

"So where's my sweetpea?" she cooed as she quietly entered the nursery. The room was something out of a fairy-tale, Blair loved how perfect it was. She didn't love how Serena sold the pictures to a magazine. Almost all of the decisions from the colour to the bedding were picked out by Blair but not a single mention of that existed in the article accompanying the design in the House and Home article. Blair approached the crib and found a very alert baby inside. "Hello sweetheart," she smiled.

"She awake?" Dan questioned as he followed behind.

"She wants to spend some time with her auntie Blair," she said as she pulled the baby out of the crib and walked her out of the room. "I can't believe Serena would want to spend one minute away from her, let alone two months,"she took a seat on the sofa.

"I know," Dan smiled adoringly at the baby. "It's amazing. It's been two weeks and I can't imagine my life without her," he touched her soft cheek.

"So,...wedding soon," she cleared her throat.

"Yeah," he looked down at the floor. "Serena is probably picking out a venue as we speak,"

"Did she call?"

"Nope," Dan sighed. "I think she just needs some time,..."

"Well I can keep you company. Chuck is gone for three weeks," she looked up and smiled.

"My my, that's good news," he leaned in and kissed her.

"Oh,...I don't know if we should do that in front of her," Blair pressed her lips together.

"she doesn't have any friends, who's she going to tell?" he smirked.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

Blair is walking around her penthouse preparing for Dan and Serena's wedding. Chuck calls to tell her again that he'll be running another twenty minutes late.

"Chuck, it's a wedding. You can't treat today like a regular dinner party. Being an hour late is completely unacceptable!"

"I'll be there for the ceremony, I promise. Just twenty more minutes,"

"You said that forty-five minutes a,...STOP!" Blair pulls the phone away from her face to yell at Henry. "HENRY!," this time it's more of a scream. He's not listening. "How many times have I told you to be gentle!"

"Why are you yelling at him?" Chuck's voice is gruff and she can practically see his forehead crinkle in disapproval.

"He's not listening. I've told him ten times now to,..." she's silenced by the blood curdling wail of baby Anna. "HENRY!" she yells again.

"That's enough," Chuck seethes on the other end of the phone.

"He's going to kill her!" Blair rushes and picks up the baby, cradling her in her arms. "Shhh, sweetheart,"

"It's amazing how maternal you can be to someone else's child,..."

Blair hung up.

"I take baby," Dorota holds out her loving arms and takes Anna from Blair. Blair watches carefully. The baby continues to wail.

"She doesn't like that. You have to bounce her," Blair instructs. "I have to take another call, can you put her in her dress?"

Dorota nods and walks away. "BOUNCE HER!" Blair orders when she can still hear the baby crying. "For crying out loud, is it so hard to appease a baby?" she walks back and practically rips the baby out of Dorota's hands. Anna stops crying and calms down almost instantly. Dorota looks shocked.

"You baby whisperer," Dorota's eyes widen.

"What can I say? I'm a woman of several talents,"

Blair takes the baby upstairs and gets her dressed. "Oh, look how pretty," she says sweetly to her niece once she's in her white, lace dress. "Now you're all ready for mommy and daddy's wedding," she smiles at her gently but can't help but feel a sharp pain in her side. She's been so busy planning so she won't think about what's actually happening today. After today, no more. No more secret meetings, no more hush-hush phone calls in the middle of the night, no more voyages to secluded countries veiled as business trips. They discussed this, today it was over for good.

Blair hears a knock at the door and Dan slips into the room quietly. "What do you think?" she spins the six month old baby to face her dad.

"Hi baby," he smiles as she reaches out to him. He sits on the bed with his two favourite girls for a while knowing these moments will inevitably end forever. "You out did yourself," he comments on the dress.

"Thank-you," she says genuinely. They both look at Anna, neither able to raise their eyes and look at each other right now. The room is too heavy with emotions and they might do or say something they regret. Blair takes a deep breath and suppresses her urge to blurt out "marry me instead!" she thinks of Anna. Anna deserves better than this. Blair is embarrassed when she is suddenly unable to see. Her eyes are swimming and she knows they must be red. "We should get you downstairs," she sniffs and smiles.

"Oh don't,..." Dan frowns seeing her heartbroken face.

"Another time, another life,..._right?_" her voice cracks. Dan reaches for her hand while baby Anna pulls on his shirt and reminds him who he chose.

**XOXOXOX**

"DADDY!" Henry beams with happiness and runs towards Chuck.

"Henry!" he greets him.

Eleanor rushes up and coos, "Henry! my grandson!"

Blair rolls her eyes and continues her phone call while her mother picks up Henry and shows him more affection and attention than Blair was ever given as a child. "no, no I told you. Tuesday is not good enough! I need the samples in the show room by monday! okay I have to go, I have guests," she smiles into the phone.

"Do you have any idea how many times I wondered if we would make it to this day, and now,..." Blair overhears Lily coming down the staircase with Eric. She would laugh if she wasn't so sad. If Blair is good at anything, it's masking her feelings. Jenny rushes up the stairs with a last minute addition and everyone starts sitting on Blair's furniture getting ready for the ceremony that she most dreaded.

"How is she, nervous?" Lily grabs Blair's hands.

"No she's great. Not nervous at all," she smiles and squeezes her hands.

"Where's Anna?" Dan asks Blair.

"Dorota put her down for a nap"

"Oh, I thought she would be here for the ceremony,"

"Serena didn't want her here for the ceremony," Blair said. She thought it was absurd too. Anna looked so beautiful in the dress Blair designed especially for her and now no one would see it.

"Why?" Dan's forehead crinkled.

"She doesn't want her in the pictures because it'll look like you had a child out of wedlock," Blair sighed.

"We did!" he shook his head seemingly amused but she can tell he's frustrated. Blair cringes when she watches Dan's jaw clench and then run up the stairs. He knocks on the door where Serena is getting ready. "Serena!"

"Dan?" she sounds pissed. "What are you doing!?" she practically shrieks. "Do NOT come in here!"

"Anna is going to be at the ceremony!" he says through the door.

"No she's not," she sings.

"Serena, c'mon,...this is ridiculous. The stigma is gone. We aren't religious," he chuckles. Serena opens the door, not caring if Dan sees her in her dress anymore.

"I don't really want everyone to know that you're only agreeing to marry me because you knocked me up," her eyes are cold.

"Serena, I didn't mean it like that," he says softly. "I meant that we wouldn't be getting married now. Because we're so young, we don't have to rush into this,"

"So what are you saying?" she put her hands on her hips.

"I'm saying, thank god we had a baby. Because I want to marry you," he smiles. It's weak and he knows it, but she falls for the words and doesn't pick up on the emotions.

When the ceremony began, Blair took her seat last. The minister began. Blair positions her face into a permanent smile knowing someone would be there taking pictures.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

She spent her day bored, waiting for Chuck to finally leave for his meeting so they could have lunch. She was starving. An hour after he returns, she's tired of listening to him argue on the phone with his investors. She would pretend she was interested but never really was. Truthfully, Blair didn't really understand Chuck's business model. He explained it to her once when she was too busy planning their wedding. Just knowing that he finally wanted her was all she needed, she didn't care about whether or not they shared interests, she never worried herself with what they would talk about in their eighties when they were both retired, they loved eachother, they liked to scheme together and talk about how much better they were than other couples. So whenever Chuck brought up business intiatives, Blair would nod and tell him to trust his gut. She would talk him up and tell him he was always right. At first, she loved being married to a powerful man, it made her feel like true Queen. Life as a Queen was exhausting, she never saw her husband, when they did plan trips together he would spend the majority of his time on the phone, and even still, after all this time she would have to turn her head and remain completely unaffected by his wandering eye.

"See something you like?" she wiped the corner of her mouth with her napkin. Her tone of voice was soft and unaffected. The expected blink and eye narrowing followed soon after. She always knew he was busted when he became defensive.

"I was admiring her hand-bag, it reminds me of the one I bought you in Paris," his voice is low and warning. His eyes stare into hers as if to threaten her not to say another word about it. "Do you remember when I bought you that bag that you had to have?"

"I could have purchased it myself. Don't act like a hero," she rolled her eyes and pushed her plate to the center of the table.

"Take the plate back," he says quietly.

"I'm full,"

"Finish your lunch Blair," it's a growl. She feels like a child.

"I'm finished. Thank-you," she tells the server. Chuck hates making a scene so she knows he won't do anything while the waiter removes her half full plate.

"And you wonder why we have such a hard time getting pregnant," he says under his breath.

"Excuse me?" she blinks at how rude he's being.

"You heard me. You're fucking eating disorder is hindering our plans,"

She could slap him but they're in public so she smiles instead.

**XOXOXOXOX**

**Present**

Dan and Blair tuck the girls in together whenever Serena's out of town, which is quite a bit for someone who doesn't have a job. Blair thinks it's amazing how Dan can single-handedly support his entire family. He hardly has time to write his own novels between editing for a major publishing agency and teaching a couple classes at NYU. Blair urges him to drop it all and write his novels full time. His manuscripts help her sleep at night but he never finishes them so she reads the same ones over and over, then harasses him about how they should end. He never sees eye to eye with her so they argue about it relentlessly until it gets so heated they make love. She's sat in on some of his lectures and she's proud of how engaging he is with his students. She teases him for being one of those lame teachers who cares about his students, the teacher who always has a door open, doesn't rely on a TA to mark his papers or give failing students extra attention. He's the type of teacher who comes in on a Monday and tells the class about all the cute things his little girls did on the weekend. It's so lame, she loves him more and more.

"Muah, I love you!" he kisses Paige on the head.

"Muah, I love you!" he kisses Anna on the cheek.

"Now Auntie Blair!" Paige claps.

"I love you!" she kisses Paige.

"And I love you!" she kisses Anna. "Goodnight, sweet dreams,"

"Another story!" little Paige begs.

"No no no no," Dan shakes his head. "Didn't you hear the walrus?" he tilts his head.

"No," Paige insists.

"The time has come, the walrus said,..."

Blair giggles, she loves that her nieces have such an amazing dad. Tucking in the girls is simple and it feels a lot more satisfying then tucking in Henry who only wants his dad, especially when he's on the other side of the world. He doesn't cry, he just gets mad and throws a fit. For six he's pretty unaware that Japan isn't a limo ride over. He calls Blair by her first name. She finds that pathetic.

"It's not fair to his mother!" Chuck yells.

"SHE'S DEAD!" Blair screams.

"It doesn't matter. That's not what she would want. He's her son. I want him to grow up knowing who his mother was and I don't want him to forget her." Blair shakes her head

"Sometimes I think you'd rather her be with you and not me,"

Chuck's nostrils flare, "Don't be so assinine," he looks her with squinty hatred in his eyes.

"We romanticize the dead, not the living," she states while walking away. He grabs her arm and tells her that if this is all about Henry then they should have a baby together. "For real this time,"

Blair scoffs. "That's exactly what we need, another person for you to ignore because Henry needs you," Chuck rolls his eyes and gives her some half-assed speech about how he's busy and frustrated with work and all she does is complain."I've given you everything you wanted,"

"Yes you have,"

XOXOXOXOX

Thank you!


	6. Kiss me hard before you go

(Wow. I'm sorry i've been so busy. Thanks for all the support. When I see reviews it reminds me I need to get back on track! Thanks again! Warning: I didn't really edit this. I apologize for the many mistakes but I didn't want to wait another month to post. Enjoy this chapter)

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

**Kiss me hard before you go**

**XOXOXOX**

Chuck wants Blair to go off the pill because he thinks Henry should have a sibling before he gets too old. FOR HENRY. It replays in her mind over and over anytime Chuck touches her. Chuck wants them to create a being so his bastard son will have a friend. He always says it so simply as if she can just run off to Macy's and bring a playmate home with her. She told him she went off the pill a long time ago but actually not taking them would be extremely dangerous. She has sex with Dan more often than her husband. She can't even imagine the anguish she would feel not knowing who the father of her child could be. Truthfully, the idea of having Dan's baby is somewhat amusing to Blair. Chuck has his baby with someone else, why not her? She finds herself so amused, she smiles in thought. Chuck asked what was so funny, she told him some dumb joke she overheard at work. His lips curled up slightly, trying to find the humour. He gave up soon and walked away. She called after him, "You had to be there!" She entertains the idea a little longer, it was possible that no one would ever know, it was possible they could have a child that was her spitting image, no one would ever question. Chuck had looked much like his mother and not at all like Bart even though a DNA test revealed he was definitely Bart Bass' son. Then she thinks, they could have child who looked just like Dan or exactly like Serena's kids and there would be no denying it. Even her thoughts tread on the dangerous side.

After a year of putting it off, Blair lies and tells Chuck she's no longer on the pill. Chuck comes home every day at lunch time so they can have sex. It's like a business transaction. She lays like a starfish and he pounds into her until she's numb. Then he rolls away and puts his clothes back on before heading back to the office. Chuck makes her take a pregnancy test once a week and then wonders if they should see a fertility doctor because something must be wrong with Blair, nothing is ever wrong with him. He reminds her that their fertility issues can't possibly be his problem because he has a son. Fed up with his constant jabs, Blair assures him the only thing causing her uterus to be sans baby is the 0.2 milligram estrogen pill she never stopped taking. He screams at her. She wasted his precious time.

"I HATE HIM!, I HATE HIM!" she cries to Dorota who isn't sure how to comfort the broken girl she practically raised. Chuck has left for another trip, but not without reminding her how horrible of a person she's become first. "I'm done," she finally says calmly to Dorota. "I can't do this anymore," she wipes her eyes. "I'm so unhappy. I hate the way my life has turned out. It shouldn't have been like this,"

"Miss Blair, I run you a bath and pour you glass of vino,...you feel better and forgive Mr. Chuck like always,"

"No Dorota," a broken smile frightens her maid, she somehow knows everything is different now.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Dan is sitting at his desk in his office still having a hard time with the ending to his novel. Blair has offered countless suggestions but he wants to surprise her and impress her with something he came up with. This novel has always been a love letter to her. Heavily veiled, a complete inside joke, it's about them. Serena thinks it's about her, she might even catch on but she hasn't read it, she never will and Dan knows this.

"Is that my book?" her smile beams from the doorway.

"Why? you want to read it?" he laughs.

"I will whenever you finish," she plops herself on his lap and kisses his neck.

"Serena, are you happy?" he asks out of thin air.

"What kind of question is that?" she looks alarmed. Her face showing a level of disgust.

"I just don't know if you are," he says softly. "You haven't spoken much since you came home from rehab,"

"It wasn't rehab!" she gets up from his lap, clearly upset with him. Dan's gaze stares down at his keyboard before he gets up to comfort her.

"Serena,..."

They both look at each other when they realize the baby has woken up. She's quiet at first but then she starts to cry.

"Time out?" Dan suggests thinking they can resume this conversation after they take care of the baby.

"Let Clara get her," Serena grabs for his hand.

"I sent her home for the afternoon," he explains.

"I'm trying so hard and you're always so distracted. You're either working one of your two jobs, you're hiding in here, or you're doing Clara's job and I hate it!" she explains.

"Serena, i'm not doing her job," he feels helpless, she'll never understand.

"We have a nanny for a reason," she sighs.

"Why can't we take care of our own kid?"

"Because we're busy people, we don't need to do everything. She won't even remember these things,"

"You and I,...we don't see things the same way and we never will,"

"What is that supposed to mean?" he knows she's livid.

"I don't know. I just don't think,..." he wants to say it, it's on the tip of his tongue. "I don't think this is going to work for us," he inhales. Dan never expected saying these words would cause him so much pain but they do, he feels like a failure, he feels ill. Serena's face is in shock. A few moments of silence pass and Serena finally gains the composure to speak.

A tear spills on to her cheek, her hand shakes when she reaches up to wipe it away. "I can't,..." she doesn't finish her thought, it trails off because she's overcome with sadness and begins to sob. Dan doesn't comfort her, he's too busy listening to the baby cry and hoping she'll stop because he can't walk away right now. Serena covers her face in embarrassment. Dan would never expect her to say what she says next. Dan expects Serena to attack him, he expects her to blame him for their problems, he expects her to tell him to get out of her home, but instead she looks up at him and says she's sorry. "I'm so in love with you," she wipes her eyes. "We can't,...we can't break up. I'll do anything. I'll try...anything. You're my family,"

"Then we have to act like a family," he says pulling her into a hug. Serena pulls away, Dan looks confused.

"I'm going to get our baby," she smiles

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Dan puts down the book he's reading in bed to answer his cellphone.

"Can we talk?" Blair asks.

"Umm, maybe tomorrow?" Dan whispers into the phone.

"I have something to tell you. It's pretty important,"

"Ok," he says. "What did you want to t..." he doesn't finish his sentence.

"I'm on my way over!" Blair says giddily before hanging up.

Dan sighs and gets out of bed. Serena had told him earlier that she had a surprise for him when she walked into the house with several shopping bags. That usually meant she bought new lingerie and she wanted to show him. That usually indicated that he would be having a long night. It wasn't that he didn't want to have sex with his wife, it just meant he would have to turn down Blair. Who was he kidding, he never turned down Blair. Now his interest is peaked, he can practically taste her, feel her soft skin under his finger tips, smell her perfume. He quickly gets dressed, trying to calm himself so he can properly satisfy the woman he loves.

"Serena?..." he calls for her knowing she's in the ensuite. "I'll be back in a few minutes I just have to run to the office to grab something,"

"Ok, but be quick!" she opens the door with a big smile.

"Why?" he asks curious at why she's all of a sudden in a great mood.

"I'll wait until you're back," her happiness is menacing to Dan.

"Ok,.."

Serena is buzzing with excitement and shows him what she's excited about; A positive pregnancy test. "I didn't even consider it until my dress fitting today. I'm a whole size bigger and I didn't even notice," she laughs. "My mom told me to take a test but I really didn't believe it but,..."

What shocks Dan in this moment is that he's not upset. Confusion takes over, why is he not upset? When Serena told him about Anna he was upset, he was depressed, he was angry. Now, he's overcome with happiness. "Are you sure?" he asks her with a confused smile.

"I'm sure," she laughs.

"Oh wow, they're going to be so close in age," Dan expresses his excitement.

"I know!" she smiles. "I hope its a boy!"

"i like having a girl," Dan smiles as he moves closer and kisses her.

"Don't you have to get something?" Serena asks.

"Oh yeah! I do yeah," he grabs his jacket. "I'll be right back!" he kisses her again.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Her face. Her beautiful, entrancing face. All he wants to do is kiss her and keep her forever by his side. She's his dream, he knows this. He's analyzed it. Blair Waldorf couldn't be more perfect for him if he created her himself. That level of worship frightens him, he knows there's nothing he wouldn't do for her. She's standing on the Brownstone landing patiently, he can see her through the smoky glass of the door. Red, he loves when she wears red. "Hi," she smiles.

"Hi," he smiles back. Blair lunges at him, kissing him hard, her hands on his face.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he closes the door behind him. "Serena is home," he doesn't understand why she would ever be so careless.

"I don't care," she bites her lip. "As soon as Chuck gets home i'm telling him it's over and then we can finally tell Serena what we've wanted to tell her,..."

"You're doing what?"

"I'm done with him,"

"You say that all the time,"

"No, This time i'm done," a happy tear rolls on to her cheek.

"Why are you crying?" he asks with concern.

"I'm so happy and relieved,..." she closes her eyes and smiles through the tears that keep flowing.

"Blair,..." he breathes. He feels helpless. He's so in love with her. He never wants to cause her pain.

"Serena,...we're having another baby," he confesses.

"..." he must be kidding.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know and I,...don't walk away. Blair,..."

"how could you,..."she wipes her eyes. "You wrecked everything!"

"Blair, you never leave Chuck. You say it all the time but you never do and it's not fair anymore. I can't just wait for you. I have to live my life. You have to live yours. You have absolutely no idea how much I love you. I do. I want every part of you but I can't do this anymore. It's too hard,"

"Come here," she puts her hands on his shoulders. "Kiss me,"

"It's not going to change,..."

"Shh,...just once more," she smiles. They kiss and it feels like the world is ending. They stand in silence for a little while.

"Why do we do this?" Blair asks.

"Why do we do what?" he whispers with his lips still lingering less than an inch from hers.

"Why do we think we'll ever stop?"

"I don't know," he laughs lightly.

"Chuck isn't back until tomorrow night. Be at my place at noon. Don't be late," she whispers in his ear.

"I won't be," he smirks.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Dan wakes up the next morning to laughing from the dining room. When he finds Serena and Blair sitting together having a great time he smiles sheepishly.

"Well, well, well," Blair purses her lips together and gives him a once over. "Did you just roll out of bed or is this your Sunday best?" she lifts her teacup.

"You know Blair,...I'm just sad for you. I know it took you about three hours to get yourself ready this morning and you still look like that,..." he grabbed a grape from the fruit bowl. He smirks knowing nothing has changed.

"Behave you two!" Serena interjects. "I was just telling Blair about our good news," she's already flipping through baby naming books.

"Oh really," he sits with them and tries to peak at the names she's circling.

"I have to say, i'm quite impressed. Didn't think you had it in you Humphrey," Blair scoffs.

"Dan never misses,..." she circles another name and another.

Blair and Dan look up at each other with worry and fear.

"What do you think of William? like my dad?" Serena asks.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

thoughts?


	7. Need You Now

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews you really make my day. I only meant for this to be a one-shot and then I was inspired by all the lovely readers. Thank you again -FQ_

**NEED YOU NOW**

"I sometimes daydream about Serena and Dan's wedding. I tell him to marry me instead and he doesn't hesitate. Serena waits and waits to walk down the aisle and Dan never shows," her voice is soft and contemplative.

"Is this a reoccurring dream?" Dr. Knox asks Blair.

"Yes," she answers with her eyes closed. "Sometimes it just ends there, but sometimes it lasts much longer," Blair explains her dream in detail. She and Dan sit in a poorly lit hallway eating the top tier of the wedding cake. Her stomach is in knots, she worries his contemplative face is guilt and he's going to leave her there alone to finally go and marry Serena. She asks him even though her fear is debilitating what he's thinking about. He smiles adorably and says that he expected a two thousand dollar cake to taste better. Blair laughs and leans in to kiss him. They talk about how happy they are that they didn't make huge mistakes, Dan marrying Serena or Blair biting her tongue and letting him.

"Tell me about Dan and Serena's wedding," Dr. Knox writes on her notepad.

"It was at my penthouse,..." she sounds disgusted.

Dr. Knox asks about the attendees. Blair stops at Anna thinking about her sweet, baby face.

"She made me feel guilty. She was pure and a real product of their love. I felt like a whore." her voice shakes.

"Yet you continued?"

"I love him!" she justified herself. "Life is too short to deny myself of this,.."

**XOXOXOX**

Blair sees her from the other-side of the room. She heard everything. She saw Dan leave. She knew.

"Stop," she feels Dorota's judgement. "Stop it right now!" she shrieks through her tears.

"Did not say anything Miss Blair," she says without any emotion, like a statue- her eyes still, her lips fixed into a sad frown.

"You can't!" A tear rolls down Blair's cheek. "Promise me you won't say anything!" she panics and starts to bawl.

"I never say anything before. I not say anything now,"

"I'm sorry!" she breaks down.

"Miss Blair," Dorota says in a comforting way. "You love him?"

"...Yes," she cries into her hands.

"Then I don't say anything," she says calmly.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

He's been sitting at the dining-room table typing because Serena pouts when he uses his office as if he's purposefully ignoring her. She's neglectful and forgets he's working two jobs, both almost always heavily relying on his laptop. He keeps losing is train of thought as Serena pleads with their oldest daughter not more than four years old to take her cough syrup. She's had an awful barking cough for over three days now. They brought her to the pediatrician who assured them it wasn't pneumonia just a passing cold that would clear up in a few days with vitamin C and plenty of fluids. Serena pets her daughter's head tenderly. "Just one spoon,"

"I don't want it," the little girl mutters quietly under her breath as Serena shoves the spoon towards her face for the fifth time.

"Anna,..." Serena says sternly. She glances at Dan who's ignoring her, not any help in the least. "You'll feel better, just take it,"

"No I already did!" Anna is starting to get worked up, her eyes are filling with tears, her body is shaking with fear for the bitter tasting liquid. Dan glances up and sees her tear stricken face.

"Just one,..." Serena tries to shove the spoon into her daughter's mouth, Anna winces and turns her head which causes the glossy, purple liquid to splash down her blouse. Serena closes her eyes in frustration, her jaw is clenched tightly, she takes a deep breath and stares at her stained blouse. Anna tries to escape her chair but Serena is quick and takes hold of her arm, lifting her light-weight back into the chair. "We are not negotiating this, now sit down and take you medicine,"

Anna is now rubbing her arm dramatically you hurt me, the tears in her eyes sparkle. "Mummy, I don't like it,"

"I don't care," Serena's face is blank. "You're going to take your medicine and i don't want to hear another word about it,"

It plays out continuously, Serena ends up spilling the bottle all over the table runner and her anger is reflected in Anna's thunderous shriek that turns into the most heartbreaking cries. Dan can't help but feel like he's witnessing some munchausen's by proxy nightmare.

"ANNA!" Serena is at her wit's end. Dan finally gets up from his chair and picks up his daughter. Rescuing her. Serena stands seething as her daughter's white blonde hair cascades down her husband's shoulder. It's a Humphrey woman trait, so is her elfish, little face. She resembles Dan's sister more than her. Serena despises this.

"Dan?" Serena sighs. "She needs to take it!"

"It's a cold Serena! it'll be gone in a couple days,"

Serena closes her eyes and tries to calm herself before he says something she regrets. When she's trying her best to be a good mother he undermines her, always. All she wanted was for her girls to be better by Friday so she could take them to the play-date with Heather Andrews and her ugly daughters. Serena loves that her girls are beautiful, she wants to show them off, she wants them to be her perfect accessories. Anna and Paige don't even like Heather's daughters much. Their mom has too many rules on what they're allowed to play with. They'd be happy if they never had to go to Heather's house again. Serena is determined to go, she bought a new bag especially for the occasion.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

This year starts with a funeral. Young, beautiful, talented. So much untapped potential. The cancer took her quickly. She put up a fight, she was optimistic but optimism doesn't increase appetite or shrink tumours. Dan believes it was the chemo that took her so soon. He curses the doctor who told them she had years. He always thought Doctors were supposed to low-ball that kind of time. Allison Lee Humphrey died in her 54th year. She was survived by her daughter and her devastated son. The one thing he couldn't shake was that his mom wouldn't be there for his daughters, they would only ever have Lily VanderWoodsen as a grandmother. The thought made him angry. What a cruel world. She would only live on in his and Jenny's memories because Serena surely didn't know her well and his girls were so young, their memories would be limited to christmas dinners and birthday parties. They didn't need her for advice, they wouldn't travel Europe with her, they wouldn't have their own memories of how much she adored them.

"I'm not hungry," Blair pushes the paper away from her and waves Dorota away. Her pulse is fast and she can't think of anything else, even her breathing exercises make her feel on edge. She's anxious and nothing will take her mind off the fact that her baby is hurting and she's stuck at home pretending she's working and doing her new morning yoga class.

"What's wrong?" Chuck barely looks up.

"I'm just so sad for Serena and Dan," she manages to get out as she wipes her reddened eyes.

"Did you even know her?" Chuck's eyes squint.

"I'm sad for my friend," she defends herself.

"I saw Serena yesterday, she seems fine," Chuck shrugged.

"Well!" she snips. "I doubt she's fine," she gulps, almost tripping over her words. Her eyes well up with tears.

"Jesus," he stares at her confused. "Is it that time of the month already?"

"Can you please fuck off," she says with a smile before getting up and going to bed. She calls Serena. Hopefully she'll give her peace of mind how Dan is doing.

"How is Dan holding up?" she tries to sound sympathetic but not overly.

"I'm not sure," Serena begins. "He's spending a lot of time in his office,"

"Oh,..." She bits hard on her bottom lip, attempting to stifle her crying. She covers the receiver with her hand and closes her eyes, letting tears roll over her hand. Blair feels like she can't breathe.

"I'm glad the funeral isn't until Friday," Serena sounds far away like she's eating something. "It gives me a chance to get my hair dyed and find the girls new dresses," she sighs about her busy week. "Oh god, there's another bouquet of flowers at the door..." she groans.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

Blair sat in the back with the distant relatives and new friends. When she first arrived she saw Serena standing at the front of the church greeting people with her usual effervescence. She smiles, she laughs, she's loving every second of this. Don't I look great? Can you believe how amazing my figure is after two children? Do you see how pretty my girls are? Allison loved me so much. I'm so helpful, I put this entire service together because Dan is too upset. Jenny was no help so I took it all upon myself but i'm happy to do it because I love the attention I get. Dan is standing beside her doing his best to keep composure. He's holding on to a wad of tissues in his left hand just in case. He's hugged a few people and smiled lightly before thanking them and going to the next person. A woman approaches Dan and Blair notices Dan shifts in his stance slightly. He's not as sturdy as he once was. He listens to her speak. She's seemingly explaining how important his mom was to her. She's holding his hand and speaking directly to him. Dan smiles at her before she moves on. Before the next person approaches Dan's eyes are buried in his tissues. He pulls it away and smiles as if he's being silly and tries to talk to the next person. He can't. He bites his top lip and takes a deep breath. Serena looks to him confused. "excuse me," he barely gets out as he walks into the mens room.

"I'm so sorry," Serena sheepishly to the next person in line.

"Allison was a lovely woman," the man says to her.

"Oh I know. We were so close," she puts her hand over her heart.

Blair looks around before slipping into the mens room., though she doesn't care if anyone sees her. She was going to go in there no matter what. She locks the door behind her. She stands by the door waiting until he comes out and sees her.

"I don't want to do this," he says.

"I know," she frowns before pulling him into a tight hug. She strokes the nape of his neck and kisses his cheek. "I love you so much,"

**XOXOXOXOXO**


	8. Blown Away

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Let me know what you think

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

**BLOWN AWAY**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

There's a summer party at the Humphrey Brown Stone. They have a typical bbq spread; burgers, chicken kabobs, Martha Stewart and pinterest salads and various seasonal fruit. The kids are playng with water guns. Dan and Nate are drinking craft beer out of condensation covered glasses, Serena and Blair are drinking sangria out of Serena's most expensive riedel. Chuck brought his own single malt scotch because craft beer is so "Brooklyn". Blair wears a summer print with a sweetheart neckline, the hem is closer to her hip than her knee. Dan avoids eye contact with her the majority of the day.

"Well this is empty,...I'll grab another," Blair stares at the bottom of her glass before getting up and pushing open the glass doors into the kitchen. As she does this, she brushes past Dan who's making his way outside. He looks at her for the first time today, really looks at her and fakes an expression similar to annoyance but Blair knows it's more hungry than that. "Go on Humphrey," she sighs.

"No, go ahead," his eyebrows lift as if to say, hurry up already. Blair continues past him, "Excuse me," she says with an air of confidence as her nose lifts to the ceiling. Her heart is beating faster than it should be, she smiles to herself knowing she's driving him insane.

She marches herself into the kitchen and grabs the first bottle of wine she finds. She holds it in her hand a minute and reads the label. Serena often purchased wine based on how pretty the label was, she didn't trust her. There were plenty of French vinos Blair preferred to this twelve dollar bottle from the current year. Blair's eyebrows knit-together with distaste at the pink helvetica letters. When she looked up, she could see Dan smiling at her through the window. Serena and the others must have been busy, allowing him to sneak another peek at her. Blair's eyes looked around him, she noticed Serena was sitting on the steps facing the other direction, Nate, Chuck and the kids were surrounding the patio table also looking in the other direction. She smiled back at Dan. "I. Love. You." she mouthed. Dan crinkled his nose at her and she melted.

"Hey," Dan attentively wrapped his arm around Serena's shoulder. "Let me get you another," he reached for her glass.

"Thanks, baby," Serena smiled at her husband. Dan wasted zero time allowing himself back into the house.

"Have anything better than this Humphrey?" Blair said, the words barely tumbled out, she could hardly think when he rushed by her, grabbing for her hand behind him and pulling her into the pantry.

"You can't wear dresses like this," he lunged at her lips capturing them with his own. His tongue explored hers with hungry desire while reaching down and unzipping it all the way until he could feel her panties.

"Whys that" she whimpered finally being able to breathe, "seems to be working well for us," she steadied her breathing as he pulled the straps of her dress down and kissed her shoulder. "I read your novel,"

"And?" he began to pull her panties down.

"What happens when you become a big shot author and everyone knows your face?" she undid his belt and pulled down his pants. "Europe trips won't be easy," she breathed as she stroked him not wanting to wait a second longer to feel him inside her.

"Oversized glasses?" he suggested. Blair giggled and he lifted her up. "ah!" she cried out quietly finally feeling him. It was quick, it was the most satisfied she felt in awhile, Dan pecked her on the lips, told her he loved her and exited the pantry before her.

The rest of the day was perfect. The sun hot and shining, but there was a soft breeze that kept everyone comfortable. "Chuck, can I offer you another?" Dan noticed Chuck's drink was empty. "How can you offer me a drink I brought myself?" Chuck asked in his usual low voice, slightly annoyed, slightly indifferent.

"Chuck..." Blair said, feeling embarrassed by her rude husband.

"Well let me rephrase that," Dan said unfazed by Chuck. "May I get you another?"

"I'll get it myself," he stood.

Dan pretended nothing happened and gave attention to little Paige who was pulling at his shirt for the last minute. "What's up kiddo?" he asked her.

"I'm sorry you guys," Blair said quietly.

"About what?" Serena didn't notice.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"I would have liked to stay a little longer," Blair said as she pulled the silk sheets of the bed back.

"Why?" Chuck sighed while sitting up in bed, clicking through his emails.

"Why?" Blair asked back in surprise. "Because they're my friends," she sounded exasperated. "We ate dinner and left! Last week at Marshall Atwood's party we stayed until 2 am, you hate him!"

"Well there's your answer,"

"Are you saying you hate Nate, Serena and Dan more than Marshall Atwood?"

"I feel as we've grown older, we've also grown apart," he didn't take his eyes off the computer screen in his lap.

Blair grabbed for the novel on her nightstand not wanting to discuss further. A loud yell came from down the hall. Henry hadn't slept through the night since the day Chuck brought him home. "I'd go check on him but he'll just tell me i'm ugly and he loves you more..." Blair practically laughed. Chuck got out of bed to tend to his son. Blair continued reading Dan's novel, she finished it long ago but his words comforted her, so she was on her third read through and it was only put on the shelf a week ago. When Chuck returned to their bedroom he went straight for the bathroom. She heard the water run for a few seconds and then the door opened and he arrived at the end of the bed completely naked, already completely erect. Blair starred at his pale body. She would have called it a dad -bod two years ago, now he had really let himself go. His stomach was starting to extend from all the extra liquid calories. He sat at a desk for work, he sat on airplanes, he never bothered to exercise. Blair couldn't make herself be attracted to him if she tried. Lately she had been pretending he was Dan during sex. Imagining Chuck's pale, soft body was Dan's body was more than difficult. When she ran her hands up and down his back, she remembered it was just her husband again. When he kissed her with his too soft kisses she was frustrated but when he kissed her with too much force she felt like she couldn't breathe. She missed Dan so much. They hadn't slept together in over a month and it was becoming unbearable.

The way Chuck looked at her from the edge of the bed made her shiver, not in a good way. He thought he was so sexy, he thought he was going to turn her on just by standing there, stroking himself.

"Not tonight," she said apologetically.

"Not tonight? how are we supposed to have a baby? huh?..." he sighed while walking back to the washroom to get his pyjamas.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Blair sat at the kitchen island skimming through an issue of Vogue. She should have been at her shop today but she needed a break. Lately she had been working countless hours not fully trusting her staff. The last time she took a day off to be with Dan, she came back to her designs botched by interns. Taffeta instead of tulle, magenta instead of blush, it was a disaster and she had to fire someone that day. It had been months and she didn't care what messes she would have to clean up. She needed today off. Today she was going to catch up on all the things she loved. She was drinking a london fog that Dorota had finally perfected thanks to several small appliance trials, she was going to hit up Laudree and get herself some macarons, she was going to feed the ducks in the park, she was going to allow herself to watch day time television, read all her magazines, maybe do a little online shopping and then finish the night off by meeting up with Dan. She placed her mug down on the sparkling, white marble counter top when Chuck rushed into the room adjusting his tie.

"Why the rush?" Blair didn't even look up.

"I forgot about my meeting this morning..." Chuck was irritated.

"Rita not doing her job?" Blair scoffed thinking of Chuck's overly sexy but abundantly useless secretary. If he wasn't railing her every night trying to drive a baby into her, she would think he was sleeping with Rita.

"No we made the plans yesterday but I didn't remember to set my alarm," he took a gulp of coffee. "I need you to take Henry to school,"

"...w..well.." she sighed. It was always like this, his life took priority over hers.

"You can't?" Chuck asked.

"I have to overlook my designs..." she lied.

"mmm," he grumbled. She knew he thought her shop, her designs and her building empire were silly.

Just then Blair's phone chimed. "Blair speaking," she answered. "Oh absolutely, of course," she smiled. "I'll be right over,"

"Who was that?" Chuck asked.

"Serena needs me to take the girls to school," she popped of her chair. "Henry! time to get up!" she called up the stairs.

Chuck looked at her quizzically.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

'No, no, no, here let me," Blair pushed aside one of her employees. "You're pinning it all wrong,"

"I'm so sorry Blair!, I'm not having a good day,"

"It happens, but don't let it happen on my designs," she said sternly but warmly. She was trying to be nice, Dan had told her she would catch more bees with honey.

"Hello," a man's familiar voice floated into the shop. "hi there," he smiled at Blair's red-head, leggy employee, Gwen.

"Why are you here Christopher?" Blair smiled sarcastically.

"Oh you remember me?' he smiled.

"My husband's PI, yes," she went back to pinning the dress. She couldn't even guess what Christopher had been doing there.

He paused, put his hands on his lower back and looked around, "Looking for new clothes,"

"We don't cater to your sex unfortunately," Blair continued around the counter. "We also don't sell anything here. May I ask what my husband has put you up to?"

"Yes actually," Blair was very surprised. "Chuck referred me to Serena,"

"To Serena? what would Serena need a PI for?" she asked.

"You're not supposed to know this but I think starting with you might be good since you have stock in this," he looked around and lowered his voice, "Serena thinks Dan might be cheating on her,"

Blair's heart stopped. Her eyes bulged. "How,...how do I have stock in that?"

"umm,...you're her bestfriend,"

"And what do you,...why are you here?" she tried not to stumble over her words.

"I thought it was pretty clear. You are the only person who would care as much as Serena. I thought maybe you could have some insider information,"

"...I,...I'm a busy person and you were hired to do a job...and,...and you're wasting your time. Dan is not cheating on Serena he adores her,"

"Serena found a pair of panties in Dan's office,"

"WHAT?!" she couldn't breathe. How could she forget her panties. "I'm sure some of his students were just fooling around in there... Dan isn't a cheater,"

Christopher was barely listening, the strawberry blonde held his attention.

"Let it go Christopher,...trust me,"

'I can't," he kept looking at Gwen.

"Let's strike a deal. you like the company of my Gwen?" Blair was good under pressure.

"I'm listening,"

"All it takes is one small character reference," Blair smiled devilishly.

"I'll bite," Christopher leaned in.

"I can put in a good word to Gwen over there," she glanced over at her best employee.

"You'd do that for me?"

"I would but you need to do something for me,...sweet and charming could easily be attempted rapist, the choice is yours,"

Shocked by how quickly things escalated, Christopher's smile faded. "What do you want Blair?"

"I'd like you to ease my best friend's mind," she smiled softly. Realizing Christopher may find this suspicious, she continued. "Serena needs to be of sound mind during my show. Tell her you know nothing and move on to the next woman who believes her husband is a good for nothing, dirty cheat and leave my best friend and her innocent husband alone"

she was a fox faced seductress. other times she was a fresh faced debutant. He didn't know which he preferred. Her personality changed with her clothing, her lipstick matched her mood. her fragrance told her personality and her nail colour was oddly linked to the bedroom. It didn't take long to decipher now. he could always crack her code.

XOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXXO

Thanks for reading :)


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